Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Tale of the Crossroads of the West 2008 Gunshow.

Recently I was invited to attend a gun show by my brother-in-law Jared, and it was fun to hang out with him and talk guns, movies, politics, and whatever else. However, I must admit I did fear for my life at the event. Let me paint this picture for you.

The first evidence that a gun show was taking place was the massive gathering of deisel fed monsters (American made, of course) that littered the parking lot. From these monsters exited camo-covered, boot cladding, gun yielding individuals (with just a sprinkle of mullet) geared up for a gun-powdered extravaganza. Upon surviving the "truck corral", we entered the facility when suddenly a cold sensation shivered up my spine. There hanging in all it's glory, gently swayed a banner displayed by the NRA. Though the banner was simple in nature--white background and bold black lettering--the words penetrated my soul with a pure sense of terror. With every word I read, the Fight-Or-Flight response in which we all posses began to take hold. Upon this right-wing "Title of Liberty" proclaimed a plea, a plea to unite as free men in support of the never-ending Gun Possessing War now centered against the man for which I proudly supported in this great nation's elections: Barack Obama. There I stood, surrounded by thousands of gun-toting individuals all up-in-arms over the defeat of their beloved McCain less than a month previous, about to enter one of the biggest gatherings and collections of weapons/ammo (at wholesale price, mind you) this state has witnessed this year, and all I had to protect myself was an iPod, cellphone, and my wits. Needless to say, I...was...screwed. Cautiously, I leaned over to my companion and whispered these words of desperation: "Do you think I should keep quiet the fact I voted for Obama?" With a twinkle in his eye, Jared chuckled and agreed that my concern and plan for survival was just.

Anyway, it was fun to look at all the weaponry, from the top-of-the-line to the bottom-of-the-barrel (no pun intended). Personally, I found the vintage arms to be the best of the whole selection. In fact, they had an original "Tommy Gun" from the early twentieth century, complete with a drum magazine and violin case. The highlight, however, was the booth selling vintage LP's, and I was able to score an excellent condition of The Rolling Stones' Aftermath for only $2. So with LP in hand, I walked out of the building alive to tell the tale of the Crossroads of the West 2008 Gunshow.

7 comments:

Monica Bingham said...

You are too funny:). I would have thought growing up with my gun toteing camo clad clan next door, you would have been more imune. That city life has taken it's tole. At least you found a good LP out of the whole experience.

The Dunn's said...

I loved the "just a sprinkle of mullet" part I saw a doozy of a mullet yesterday at wal-mart.

Cammie said...

Mike, I am so glad you survived gun-extravaganza-2008! Moeltr would be proud!!

Monica Bingham said...

Aha, I have had an open mouth insert foot moment. For some reason I assumed it was Jayna telling about the gunshow. I guess Mike hasn't had the privilage to live next door to us true rednecks (mullet free rednecks...other wise how would you see the red :). Sounds like you made it through unscathed though please forgive the assumption:)...I am so blushing...

Our Crazy Family said...

he he...I am glad you survived!! I would have loved to have seen your face :)

Nicky said...

JAYNA!!!

Bethany Gilson said...

Mikey! I am so proud of you. I can't believe what a wonderful time you must have had!